I’m lost in thoughts and feelings, in memories, in anger, disappointment, regret…

My name is Christian Hodgson, or Hodg, I met Tombol in the spring of 1998 when he came to Germany the first time, taking part in an exchange program between schools from Chicago and Hamburg. We enjoyed two great weeks together, and became friends. It is difficult to stay in touch over the distance, but somehow we managed, and when I came to Chicago for the first time half a year later we continued our conversations for example about an open-house-exchange system for travelers and other interesting stuff. He was so full of ideas, curious in very different fields, and always questioning everything. I was back during the summer of 2000, and I remember he tried to show me the famous Chicago Blues Scene. But I was still underage, and we didn’t get into any places… Finally we found something where the bouncer was not paying attention, sneaked in, enjoyed the band and ordered a drink. I just had a sip, when someone found us, and we got thrown out. It were those moments when one admired his ability to make the best of any situation, always looking at things positively, radiating a very unique, calm energy. The last time I saw him was during the summer of 2004. The night before I had to leave, we went for a long walk after some party, and ended up at the lake, enjoying a Cuban cigar, watching the sunrise. Cuba was one of his dreams, as Brazil was one of mine. There was a lot to learn with and from him, and he could have given so much more…

We spoke around Christmas, but then lost touch. I feel very, very sorry for that. I was and still am in shock about what happened. Why don’t we appreciate people until they are gone? The thought of not being able to speak and laugh with him is very painful. He enriched so many lives, and he was sooo not done yet.

I wish I could be there for the Malik family now. I wish I could have been there for Tombol.

Just sometimes a smile crosses through my tears. It is an honor to have known such an exceptional person. He would be the best to comfort us. It’s up to us to carry on his spirit.

Much love from Serbia,
Hodg / Christian